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No budget? Then prepare to get ballsy

V.I. Creative Director Chris Winterton discusses the ‘anatomy' of campaign effectiveness.

The stuff in my office ranges from odd to NSFW—an inflatable penguin named Gunther, a lewd postcard from Noosa, a collection of vintage Nokia phones dipped in plastic paint and a South African copywriter named Henk. But possibly the most lewd, and certainly the most useful, is a hand-drawn strategy graph.

I won’t mince words: there’s balls on it. It's positioned on the door that faces the studio—initially the plan was that its inappropriate and crudely drawn anatomy would deter would-be visits from Account Service, but I clearly underestimated their tenacity. It’ll take more than balls to keep the wolves from the door.

As an exercise in the abstract, Henk and I broke down and distilled the effectiveness of a campaign to two simple metrics; the size of one’s budget, and the size of one’s balls. It’s probably too late in the piece to be making an argument for political correctness but obviously V.I. is a big fan of gender equality; in this case, balls are simply being used as a colloquialism for bravery. At V.I. we believe everybody has the right to have balls, regardless of gender.

The chart features a diagonal line that represents an effective campaign. The vertical axis is governed by budget. The horizontal axis is governed by the size of one’s, er, courage. It’s pretty simple—the smaller your budget, the larger, hairier and more imposing your balls need to be to maintain an effective campaign result.